oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Life is so much better after having sex.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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