everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Randomize
