So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
