I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
