i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
