dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
