Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
My vagina is very pro this idea
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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