i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
