dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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