Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
