i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
