I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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