you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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