She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
