I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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