Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
