Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
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