I need help removing her.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
