dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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