I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
