i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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