Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
