HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
