omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
