our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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