And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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