1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
