I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
