apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
