Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
