your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
