Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
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