just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
