Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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