just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
