You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
