non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
