She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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