And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
