maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I just want nice things and good sex
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
