I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
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