Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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