Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
