i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
try to milk me bitch
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
