i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We smell like vodka and hangover
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