is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
