When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
