my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
