im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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