we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
