The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
