Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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