What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Dick very happy bro
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
