woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
50% drunk capacity currently
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
