you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
